By Jenny Mekkawy, LCSW
Common things I hear from postpartum moms
One of the most common things I hear from postpartum moms- in both therapy and from friends and family alike is, “Is this normal?” There seems to be a fear and stigma around not having it all together as a new mom and almost a societal pressure to have it all together, or at least appear to do so. Social media, for example, tends to depict only the best moments but often falls short in displaying the challenges, monotony, and relationship changes that can occur with bringing home a new baby. Despite what you see or hear, it’s normal to not enjoy every moment or to miss your old life.
Counseling Hoboken; Mollie Busino, LCSW, Director of Mindful Power. Mollie has had extensive training in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, Fertility Counseling, and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). Her work focuses on Anxiety, Depression, Anger Management, Career Changes, OCD, Relationship, Dating Challenges, Insomnia, & Postpartum Depression and Anxiety.
Feeling alone.
Maybe you’re questioning whether it will get easier, if your marriage or relationship will ever be the same as it was, or wondering where that so-called village is that people speak about. Maybe you’ve experienced intrusive thoughts or that more commonly used term lately of mom guilt. Wherever you are at and whatever you are experiencing, it is so important to have an acceptance of where you are at as a new mom, whether it’s your first, second, third (or more) time around since each pregnancy and postpartum period is unique.
However, acceptance does not mean complacency.
You have the ability to build and utilize skills that can help you across any of these prenatal and postpartum stages. Together we can examine and challenge unhelpful thoughts as well as work towards accepting the idea that two thoughts can simultaneously be true- for example you can both miss your old life and also enjoy your new life as a mom.
You can increase being more in tune with your emotional needs, improve mindful presence to better enjoy and/or not feel as overwhelmed by this new stage, and improve structure and support to feel more balanced. Postpartum is not just about postpartum depression- there is postpartum anxiety and other levels of postpartum distress, all of which can be treated. As with most things in life, there is a range, so don’t be afraid to reach out no matter where you fall on that range. Increased support, skills, and confidence will always help.