By: Mollie Busino, LCSW
Many individuals identify themselves as “Im an Anxious Person” or I’m a Depressed Person” as if it’s their identity! However, anxiety and depression are emotional and mental states we experience so they can never be WHO we are but rather WHAT we are feeling or thinking. When one identifies themselves as what they feel or how they think then they are also disempowering themselves to shift the feeling.
For example- individuals that struggle with anxiety or OCD often have a strong desire to have certainty around things. If those individuals see this pattern as “just who they are” then they will never believe they can experience the freedom of accepting the uncertainty of life (which they can).
Another example we often hear is “I am a mess”, which can have so many negative implications. Not only is that statement degrading to oneself, it also implies the individual is out of control or unable to help themselves or the situation. It would be more rational and helpful to say “ I FEEL incredibly confused or sad or disappointed” rather than define oneself as “a mess”.
The words we put after “I am…” can be some of the most powerful in that they can create empowerment, resilience, helplessness, limitations, and more..The words also can help us to see a situation as permanent or temporary, as a challenge or failure, and as out of control or with options.
Take an audit of what words you put after “I am..” and see if they are limiting or disempowering you.
Simply making the shift away from defining who you are from how you feel or think can be quite powerful!
Counseling Hoboken; Mollie Busino, LCSW, Director of Mindful Power. Mollie has had extensive training in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, Fertility Counseling, and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). Her work focuses on Anxiety, Depression, Anger Management, Career Changes, OCD, Relationship, Dating Challenges, Insomnia, & Postpartum Depression and Anxiety.